I FAILED MY JUICE CLEANSE

Last week I decided to challenge myself to a three-day cleanse to help reduce my stomach bloat. I have attempted to cleanse in the past but failed miserably. When I was researching cleanses, I came across KARMIC Cold Pressed Juice which was established in 2013 by Sam and Lisa.

I was looking forward to the idea of cleansing then when I saw all the juices in my fridge a little bit of anxiety hit, no food, no coffee? Arhh. I felt shitty. But I knew the results and benefits would be amazing for my gut health! I was not going to quit at 9.17am day 1 and surrender to a black coffee, right?

Why am I cleansing? 

I just hate feeling bloated.

I describe my bloat like that of a woman who is pregnant with a shit load of water retention. I have never been pregnant, but I imagine that’s how it feels. I also feel quite run down, my skin is breaking out, I have my period and my body just feels tired. I feel as though I have no energy. It could be Melbourne’s heat wave or the fact that I have been doing some long walks lately, either way I’m just feeling a little blah.

Cleanse benefits as found on KARMIC Cold Pressed Juice website. 

  • Reduction in body-fat & fluid retention
  • Better eating habits and desire for healthy living
  • Improved skin quality
  • Reduction in body inflammation (less puffiness around the face)
  • Less reliance on sugars and caffeine
  • Improved sleep quality
  • Increased positive energy and clarity of thinking
  • Faster physical recovery and strengthened immune system

The cleanse I picked was a 3-day cleanse, but you can choose 2-7 days. The daily intake on the 3-day cleanse is 8 items per day. 7 juices and one soup or broth. KARMIC Cold Pressed Juices provide all the information you need to follow the cleanse.

I decided to keep a diary of the juices, my impressions and how I felt throughout my 3-day cleanse. Want to know how I went? keep on reading!

Day 1:

Morning Zing: I drank this on my way to work, it tasted like a lemon quencher and went down well.

Berry Digestive: I was not happy with this one. Not the worst drink I have ever had, it kinda tasted like Jam on a scone, just not in a great way, BUT its purpose is to reduce bloating for gut health, so I sipped super slow. I didn’t get very far in the end and could not finish it.

Leafy Green: I was feeling super anxious by 11am but felt better once I drank this blend. This was the pickup I needed as I was so grumpy from not getting my morning coffee. The leafy green has kale, cucumber, spinach, celery and lemon. (finished most of it)

At 12.39 I could smell the lunches from the tea room which made my belly rumble! I was feeling super hungry (real strange as I usually intermediate fast and don’t feel hungry) I guess it was my mind telling me I couldn’t have something, that was really taking effect here!

1pm: Made the executive decision I couldn’t do the cleanse and picked up groceries for dinner. I was also super hungry so got myself a protein ball and ate 80gs of unsalted almonds.

Botanical Tea and Chai: Drinkable until I spilt half on my desk, not on purpose I promise.

I FAILED! I lasted till 1.30pm on the first day.

According to the website if you do feel the need to eat, some food suggestions are steamed vegetables, salad dishes or unsalted /activated almonds… I would have still been on track if I ate 10 almonds not 80gs. But it’s better not to eat, you are doing a digestive cleanse after all.

Back at my desk around 2pm I felt quite nauseas and thought I was going to vomit. My chest was tight, I suddenly felt guilty that I hadn’t made it to the end of the day. My head was killing me, my eyes were burning, I felt weak and had no energy.

2.10pm: Bad headache kicked in from no caffeine, time for another juice even though I had failed.

Red Raw: I did not like you! I could not drink you.

I had a very carby dinner in the end with no regrets (three pieces of lasagne if you’re wondering, and ice cream, it was a mini magnum so that makes it okay…

I skipped the leafy green & pumpkin soup.. but tried the Bee Pollen almond milk which I actually liked!

I was so tired with no energy and was in bed by 8.30pm and slept straight through till 6.30am. They do say you have the best sleep on day 1 when cleansing. (Even though I did not cleanse correctly) I slept well.

After reading some blog post’s on failed juice cleanses they really made me laugh and I didn’t feel so bad about my failed juice cleanse. If all juice cleanses tasted heavenly, then it would be a whole lot easier right?

I do love the hey hey its celery juice from Sandwich Chef, but it has pineapple and apple in it, so off course it’s going to taste delicious! Just having my leafy green is not a taste I am used to.

Day 2 & 3: I decided to drink the juices I liked and ate what I would usually eat on a normal day. I put the juices I didn’t like in the tea room at work. Us wogs don’t like waste.

The funny thing is I have fasted for religious beliefs in the past which included no food or drinking of even water during Ramadan and I could do that. Yet I didn’t make it past 2pm with this juice cleanse. I think with cleansing you really need to be in the right frame of mind. I believe it can be done but you really need to have your mind in order and maybe do it with a friend or family member to have a little support system to help out.

If you’re thinking of doing a cleanse and have more will power then me then, I still recommend you check out KARMIC Cold Pressed Juice! There is a selection of cleanses to choose from. If I was to do a cleanse again I would do it on the weekend and customise my own cleanse now that I know which drinks, I like. I’d also see if I can maybe ad some of my own sweeteners like apple to a green juice to help them go down a little easier.

So here I am, day three still bloated but that’s my own fault right! I am not the first or last person to fail a juice cleanse! I salute all you babes that complete juice cleanses (I take my hat off to you) check out this article I had a good laugh too here

Have you tried a juice cleanse? Would love to know!

For more information on KARMIC Cold Pressed Juices check out the website here

Ps: The pumpkin soup was delicious, with a side of crunchy bread off course! #FAIL

Disclaimer: KARMIC Cold Pressed Juice kindly gifted me a cleanse pack in exchange of a blog review. I apologies for failing and hope my picture isn’t the only one on the juice cleanse fail walk of shame.

Words Zerin Hassan / Post editing by Sarah Jane Bell

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